July 6th, 2024
I don’t often know what to think or how to act. This has led me to write my thoughts down when I feel moved. Writing brings subconscious mounds of truth to the summit of my conscious experience.
The thoughts that arise now–I aspire not for power but for openness. I seek to share, to inspire but often get bogged down with what’s worth sharing. Then I recognize that sharing with others is sharing with myself since we are all one collective consciousness.
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Sometimes I want to curl up in a corner. Sometimes I’m bigger than the universe. Most of the time I’m a human being.
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Before you know it you’re six feet under the ground, cremated, or whatever. What’s my relationship with death? I’m okay with dying…I’d just rather not right now.
July 13th, 2024
Our sphere of control is small. Yet we get aggravated when things outside of it go awry, which in hindsight is a wasteful use of time. When we do this, we put ourselves in chains of our own making. We’re all mad in that sense, it’s comedic.
We must focus on what’s within our control, for if we don’t we will suck the nectar out of living. Push boundaries, but take a beat to think and feel out what’s worth time and effort.
July 14th, 2024
Morning
Mad at the world. Frustrated with my mental state right now. So hateful and judgmental. So furious. I want to destroy everything. It feels shameful. I hate that I’m complaining.
Afternoon
My mind is mush. I’m just here. Afraid. Afraid of the sound of my voice.
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Existence is a curious thing. Why can things be so great and then suddenly feel so shitty? I can whine, but no one will ultimately care. I gotta ride it out. I need to ask for help. There will be waves and more waves.
July 15th, 2024
F
society
money
dogmatism
expectations
greed
you
me
symmetry
everything
July 21st, 2024
Being content with life doesn’t need to be deferred to a later time. Just arrive there now. Because if you don’t, you’ll never find joy.
Life is tremendously curious. It ebbs, it flows, it wanes, it waxes.
And whether we like it or not. I’m here. You’re here. We are all here. So I guess, what I’m getting at is, that life is good if we can let it be.
The infinite is now and always will be, and it’s beautiful.